Okay, some of you might have already heard this or have read it somewhere, but this is the first time I saw it. The Supervisor brought it in for Noreen to read and I thought that I would post it here. I needed to dust this site off anyway. I would give credit to the person that wrote this, but I do not know who it is.
The Funeral
One day all the church members reached the church and they saw a big sign on the door on which was written: Yesterday, the person who has been hindering your growth in this church passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym. In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their members, but after awhile they started getting curious to know who was that person who hindered the growth of his fellow Christians and the church itself.
The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up. Everyone thought: “Who is this person who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!” One by one the thrilled members got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it, they suddenly became speechless. They stood by nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin; everyone who looked inside it could see him/herself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: There is only one person who is capable of setting limits to your growth: IT IS YOU!!
Our life doe not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your spouse changes, when your company changes, when your church changes, when your location changes, when your money changes, when your status changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs. Examine yourself, watch yourself. Do not be afraid of difficulties, impossibilities and losses. Be a winner; build yourself and your reality. It’s the way you face Life that makes the difference. -Anonymous
I do not know anymore how many hits I have in a day because I do not check it as I once did. Certain things have entered my life and I have grown tired. I know that I do not have an overabundance of readers, and that is okay. The few that come by here to check it out then this is for you. I am shutting this post down for a little bit to concentrate on my addiction site.
You can still read about how I am doing over there. I will talk the way that I want to or when I feel language is warranted, so please do not take offense if you decide to go there for the first time. At this moment I have lost my insight as far as humor goes. I find it hard at this moment to find any reason to keep this site up.
I am sure that I will return, I hope that you will also. Thank you for everyone’s comments and I hope that you will come over to my other site. If not I understand. God be with you.
This is my latest post on my other blog site for those that do not venture over there. I thought that I would share it on this one. If for nothing else but to fill a void from posting on this one.
Nee and I attended Church yesterday, and I am always amazed with what I bring out of it. I found out that I am useless. You are too. Until God uses you. No social class in God’s eyes we are the same. He can trump your biggest desire. He can use you if you let Him. I just have to let Him.
I could not have attended on a better day. I feel useless a lot with my withdrawals and depression. I feel often that everyone is so much better then me. I am nothing but a lowly drug addict. I do not understand how people cannot have God in their life and be a recovering addict. It is already difficult for me to hold onto this life with the knowledge of God. I have so many battles that God has won for me.
The fact is with us all being useless, we are all equal. God can make us powerful in His work. He is willing to give the peace, and anything that you need. Just by allowing Him into your life and admitting that you are nothing without Him. Nothing is from our credit, all to Him.
When I started this blog I know that I said I would not preach, and I am not. I am just sharing with you were my life is going. I am not here to judge, but I expect that you will not judge me either. I have been on both roads.
I have turned away from God, I have cursed God for leaving me. But He never really left me, He just waited for me to grow up. When I go through my depression I feel like I am in hell. With no escape. People all around me, yet they might as well be invisible because I do not see them for anything more then a hapless human. They cannot crawl inside my head and fix anything, they cannot give me a shot to cure me. It does not matter how many lines I put in front of me, I will have to come down sometime and that dread is often just as bad.
I realize also the more I escape with speed the less sleep I get. Which will bring more depression, anxiety, aggravation, hallucinations, and a broken sleep. When I am depressed and wanting to use, there is no escape. Even sleep is my enemy. I will have odd dreams and when I wake up, I will either feel more depressed then I did before, or the world is just a haze to me.
I am happy to know that without God I am useless. A vessel waiting to be filled. I have helped people that I did not think were listening, but it was not me. It was God. I do not like to talk to people, I am basically an introvert. If I do not have the kids or Noreen around then I would rather be by myself. I do not mind friends, but one at a time please. God opens my mouth and words come out. If I try to use my words then people usually just look at me and wonder what I just said. I have found that I should not think too hard on what to say, God will give it to me.
I have learned that even through my lowest moments, God has been with me. Jesus experienced a moment of true hell when God separated Himself from Him. But God will not allow this for us, no matter if you fall away, never believed, curse Him, etc. He is around. A complete absence of God is Hell. If my withdrawals and depression is not an absence of God, then an eternity of Hell is worse. I am not afraid of Hell, I am not going. My walk is not fear driven, but driven by faith.
Paul is one of my favorite people in the Bible. Imagine having to speak to the Jews, and Gentiles, after killing many that believe in Jesus, and then preaching His word. Someone told me once that Jesus was depressed at times, I do not believe it. I do believe that He suffered the feeling of Hell, and absence of God, which is worse. I believe that Paul suffered with depression at times. He could not shake his past. Not that he would turn back to it, he did not. He continued deep in his journey, starting many Churches and suffering persecution for his belief, and teachings. I relate to the struggles that Paul suffered. Not that I have suffered more then he did. Or stronger in my convictions then he. Just the useless feeling. He knew though that without God he was nothing. I look at the world and want to be something.
We can be something great. In our wildest dreams of what we want to be, God can double that. He can triple it, quadruple it even if He wanted. We just have to let go and let Him. That does not mean our scars fall at the wayside. They are used to make us useful to God. The beautiful thing about that last statement is I did not contradict myself.
I go to an alternative medicine doctor. She is an acupuncturist and a chiropractor also. It is really cool how she hits upon things. She was amazed that I was still hungry for a high. She found that she could not shake it from me. I will not go into specifics, but I knew that she couldn’t. She gives credit to God, so she knew that it wasn’t her that would shake it from me. It made me wonder there are people that I have talked to on both sides of the fence. Some that have shaken their addiction and have no drive to go back. This is hard for me to believe, but I am sure they are telling the truth. What gain would they have from saying different? Their are more that I talk to that are recovering and have been for many years. Withdrawals and desires pull at them out of the blue. I fall into the latter part of the group.
By studying this and the people that I talk to or read about, the connection is this. It is by what drove you to this addiction in the first place. With me several factors come into play. I was sexually abused from 5 years and up. My father acted like I was a constant disappointment, and nothing I could do was good enough for him. My mother’s side of the family were alcoholics, and my mother was addicted to pharmaceuticals. With many problems from her own youth that was never addressed and should have been. I am a product of an experiment that went horribly awry.
Many addicts that have never recovered are the ones that had something terrible happen to them at an early age. The addicts that begin to use just to join the crowd, which do not have a family disposition to addiction or alcoholism. Or that had tragedy at a later part of their life, have a better chance at shaking the addiction all together. Not to say that this is unique to everyone, I am just saying that is the majority that I see. The grip of wanting to escape is so strong that if we do not turn back to drugs we search for a Higher Power and a meaning in all of the ____ that is addiction.
Usually we search all religions. Including Buddhism, Zen, etc. just anything that offers meaning and hope. My God is my God. He is the one that looks at me as useless, but useful at the same time. He loves my little screwed-up self. I cling to Him knowing that I am nothing and He is everything. I was raised in a church that condemned me by just what they heard about me. They did not care to know about me or save me from the hell the majority had sentenced me to. They told me that I have to repent of all of my sins before I could even imagine I was going to go to Heaven and be with God. This sent me into early depression along side the dirtiness and filth that I felt for being violated. God was not my friend, He was an awesome Father that I likened to my own earthly father. Nothing I could do would ever match up to what He desired.
Only when I was in my late thirties did I realize that God is nothing like my earthly Father. He is ready to forgive. And He loves me, a sinner. He wants to give me everything. He wants me to have my inheritance, that I do not even deserve. He wants to use me, all of us, even though we are useless. Now that is love.
I have not felt like posting these last few days, or week or whatever. If you want to know how I have been. Please visit my other site: Diary of an Addict.
I decided to keep this post as a light post, and my other site for my darker days. It is a more explicit site so enter at your own risk.
Anyway, I am going to continue in the vein of music trivia today. I will ask a series of questions, and some messed up words that need correcting and see how many you can get correct. The winner this time gets a poster of me as one of your favorite characters! Seeing how Jimbo dissed my Ninja t-shirt I won’t do that again. Nee-Nee says it freaks her out too, so you are not the only one James. Okay, let’s begin.
1. This character is in two bands. Name the bands, his name and what he does in both bands.
2. Who’s real name is: Marshal Mathers? Bonus point: How did he get his pseudonym?
3. Name this ex-Beatle that wrote and sung this song, along with the songs title, and correct these words: “Thought my mom sat on you.”
4. This song title appears at the beginning of the video, Rappers Delight. Though I am not a big rap fan, I will offer equal opportunity. Name this group and the year this single came out.
5. Name this group that had to change one word in their name because of copyright infringement. They enjoyed a little bit of success with a song based on a children’s story, for bonus points name the song they were known for also.
6. What bass player and guitarist was in a band called Wicked Lester before they formed the super group that rocketed them into fame in the early 1970’s?
7. This solo artist had no doubt that she would become a success. Name the artist and correct the lyrics. “I ain’t no hollow bat girl”
8. This mainstream metal group fired their original guitarist, Dave Mustain, by buying him a bus ticket home and leaving him stranded while on the road. Name this group and the group Dave went on to start.
9. Which legendary rocker and legendary folk singer joined to record an album together in 2007?
10. What song by Snow Patrol contains the lyrics, the lyrics are correct by the way.
“I don’t quite know how to say how I feel Those three words are said too much They’re not enough”
This might not be as fun as the last game, so let me know oh faithful readers which you would rather have.
until then, reach for the stars and stay out of the mud holes.
TD.
I was rummaging through some old photos of me and ran across this little gem. It was back in the late seventies, I was only 14 I think, but my testosterone was out of control! I was teased a lot because of my freakish body, and my head did not tan as well as the rest of my body did. I stopped working out and got my body back into the shape it is now. Please do not make fun of me. It was a bitter sweet time for me though, I walked down to the swimming pool and got second place in most freakish body for a fourteen year old. Who knew that they had such a thing?
Okay, since my last post was such a big hit, I had three comments one was a return. Best post EVER! The biggest thing was the music part. This post got a whopping five hits! Whoo hoo!
So let’s play a little game that I like to call ‘Name That Misinterpreted Words to That Tune’ I know, I know another masterpiece of a title. Thank you. The rules are simple, I will put a list of misheard lyrics in no particular order and let’s see if you can give me the correct lyrics. The catch is you cannot use the Internet to look any of them up. The trust law will apply since apparently you will be on the Internet while you play. I will give a little history of the song, and the misheard lyrics. You then respond with the appropriate number (1, 2, etc.) and the correct lyrics. For bonus points you may also include the group, and the title of the song in which it came from. Okay ready? LET’S PLAY NAME THAT MISINTERPRETED WORDS TO THAT TUNE!
1. Recorded in 1969 on their Green River album this is one of the more popular misheard lyrics. ‘There’s a bathroom on the right’
2. This guitar great released this album along with his experienced band in 1967. ‘Excuse me while I kiss this guy.’ Also, ‘Excuse me while I kiss this fly’
3. This group of royalty released this song in 1975. This is off of one of their biggest selling albums causing them to release a follow up to a similar naming album in 1976. Bonus: Name the two albums and which one contained the songs with these misheard lyrics: ‘The algebra has a devil for a sidekick eeeee..’ Also from same song: ‘Scallaboosh, scallaboosh will you do the banned tango..’
4. This song was released in 1991, setting off one of the first grunge groups biggest success. This is from their Nevermind album. ‘Here we are now, in containers..’ Also from the same song: ‘A burrito, a mosquito..’
5. This Australian electrical group released this album in 1976. These are the misheard lyrics from the title song. ‘Dirty deeds and they’re done with sheep..’
6. This sleepy group released this song off of their Out of Time album which came out in 1991. ‘Let’s pee in the corner, let’s pee in the spotlight..’
7. This group left their cocoon with this hit single from their album of the same name released in 1968. ‘In a box of Velveeta..’ also: ‘In a gob of mosquitoes..’
8. Okay for the last one, you can receive multiple bonus points if you answer with the name of this group, the album it came from, the one member that was rumored to be the focus of this album, the two that remained with the original line up, and one of the main guys that have remained all the way through their career.
This is from one of this groups most concentrated effort spawning numerous tributes. ‘My head smelled just like tuba lube..’
Okay, if this goes well we will do it again. So Jimbo and Tom I need you to play along so this will be the huge success my other post was. Others that want to join in feel free. The person with the most points will win a rare ‘The Ninja Doug’ shirt with the picture that is shown here on it. You lucky devils.
I wanted to start this off with the other stuff, and reaching a crescendo with my meaningful soul touching words that you will want to come back to again and again.
I wanted to put in some unfinished sayings of old cliches. I call them, uh-hum, ‘Unfinished Old Cliches’ Thank you, thank you very much.
1. Curiosity killed the cat…..but he found out what he wanted to know.
2. If these walls could talk….no one would listen because they would be bored already with their yapping.
3. Don’t count your chickens before they hatch…but it is okay if you count your chicks, and anything else you get makes for a good breakfast.
4. You can’t have your cake and eat it too…unless you have a fork and then it is okay.
5. We will cross that bridge when we get to it…who said that you were coming along with me to that bridge anyway?
6. A bird in the bush is worth nothing, but two birds caught in your gun sight is almost dinner.
7. Killing two birds with one stone…yeah, if a bird passes out in the air and dies after seeing you kill his friend with the rock in the first place.
8. A shave and a haircut…two twenties, and a shave will cost extra.
I will finish with the words to a song that has baffled me for years. ‘MacArthur Park’. If you can explain these words I would be a very happy man.
‘…Someone left the cake out in the rain, I don’t think that I can take it, it took so long to make it, and I’ll never have that recipe again.’ That is either really deep, or someone was smoking a little somethin’, somethin’. But again if you can help me, I sure would appreciate it.
Okay, now my head hurts from thinking too much, I will get to the deep stuff later. Until then, goodnight everybody!
I have been so involved in my other blog that I almost forgot about this one. Nee-Nee said that it was time to work on this one. I picked a day that I unfortunately have a lot of work that needs to be done, like clipping my toe nails, catching up on my Spongebob that I TiVoed, try out the other side of the couch for a change, etc. So if I rush through this and it is not written well, then just realize that I am rushed on time.
I saw this sign on the news this morning: God sent the shooter. It was held during a protest outside the funeral for Bill Gwatney, because he was a democrat of all things. These people were from a Baptist church in Topeka, Kansas. They usually protest during military funerals. This time another group was there to make sure that peace was kept. Another sign said: Don’t worship your dead.
A few things really made me think. I tried not to get mad about something that I did not fully understand. I was hurt for how they tried to speak for God. One thing that I felt was how this makes the religious community look. It echoes back to the shootings and bombings of the abortion clinics. Killing in the name of God to stop more killing in an area that is not fully understood. I do not condone abortion for abortion sake, but there are circumstances that merit it, I guess, but that is between the woman, Doctor and God. Not for me to decide who is doing it for the wrong reason and the right. I do know from my personal experiences that I have known two very different people that have had an abortion. One that would get knocked up and go have an abortion willy nilly. I had a hard time with that. I also knew a woman that had an abortion because of a genetic issue. She had a hard time with that. She was kicked out of a clinic for voicing her opinion on someone that was bragging on how many different abortions she had. It was a very difficult time for her, and I am sure that it still is. I used to wear CK One, the duel gender cologne, she used to wear the same. When she smelled it on me, she would become withdrawn and sad. Scent is one of our strongest senses for memories, and this brought back tough ones for her.
I also thought about the Baptist churches around the country, and what they must feel about this. Some I am sure condone it, not just in the Baptist community, but other organized religions also. But I have to believe, and this is just an assumption on my part, that most of them do not agree with this. Some people that are having a hard time with spirituality in the first place will definitely use this as fodder to fuel the fight against religion and the senseless calloused attitude that it brings in their eyes.
Forget for a minute the religious connection in this horrendous act that they performed, and leave God to judge them. Look at this in a social setting, with it being in a societal aspect then you are dragged into it also. I see this as a big in your face statement that this is how we are as a society. We do not carry the signs with us in a visual sense, not in a solid state that people can see as they walk by you. But it is seen none the less hanging around your neck. Hatred boiling over in your belief of what makes up the character of an individual. If they don’t act as a person should, or speak in an appropriate way that is deemed worthy in our social norm, then we as a part of that society are quick to jump and speak words that cut deep and are hard to take back. The tongue is as sharp as a two edged sword.
As an addict I find this to be especially true. In a world that holds a strict sin rating system it seems that addicts rate at least a nine out of ten on that ranking system. Murderers depending on the reasoning, like a robber that gets shot for breaking and entering, the shooter is then justified in taking a life, as long as it is not excessive. So if a person kills the other with no more then two shots then they are justified. If more, then the killing was more personal as opposed to not. In our society the killer that has a good shot might be ranked below an addict, as the person that is not that great of a shot will be labeled a cold blooded killer, probably a ten in our ranking system. Easier for the first person to be forgiven and the second one will have a harder road to go if he ever wanted forgiveness.
Jesus checked our hearts, not the signs that we wave in the air for ‘justice’ sake. A harlot that was about to be stoned whom apparently ranked a ten plus on their scale was approached and ultimately saved by Jesus. In their social view the men that slept with the harlot ranked way lower, if it found a ranking at all.
I wrote a post on my other blog similar to this entitled: Approach and Remove Your Robe. Before you get up in arms about the people that were protesting and the blasphemous signs that they sported. Look at your own sign and see what blasphemous words it has on it that the world is reading. The mentality of; ‘acting like I say, not as I do’ is a funny phrase sometimes that we use on our children. But it does have a deeper meaning to the secular part of this society. We as a society make up the social views, and we all have our take on what that entails. We as Christians are set up by God, for Christ as referees of sort. There are more then two groups, but let’s narrow it down to two. The religious fanatics that are caught up in what they refer to as moral issues, using the almighty God in their battle and hiding behind His stiff upper hand. Not allowing the secular world, who is caught up in their own moral issues, to see the loving hand of God. This is actually God’s strongest hand, in fact love is God, God is love. It is up to us as followers of Christ to speak as Christ would speak.
To put the playbook in perspective we need to put our signs down, and lead by example. Forgiving, we are not to back stab someone for not having the views we hold them to and then not holding ourselves to the same views. The big argument that I hear the most is this; ‘I am not talking about me here. We are talking about what you did wrong. Don’t turn this back on me, I am talking about you. I will take care of that later.’ We have the uncanny talent of being able to talk in detail of what is wrong with the other person, yet our tongues do not want to speak of what is wrong with us. Our minds cannot grasp that we are anything but perfection personified.
We do not know how God works or the way that He does. In my mind He did not send the shooter for Mr. Gwatney, but will He use it for good? He has that ability to use all things for good. The family and friends that are effected by this horrible injustice might not see the good yet, and it might be a growth that takes days, weeks, or even years to see. But if they do not focus on the signs, not just the signs of the protesters, then I believe God will guide them out of this too.
When you are tempted in opening your mouth to chastise because someone did not act the way you believed they should have, or did something that you know you would have done different. Instead of spewing hateful words out that cannot be taken back, as the shooter could not take back the shots he fired. Know that God can. He is more then able to judge, and He is more then able to forgive. It is our duty out of love that is shown to us daily by Christ our Lord and Saviour to lay our weapon down, and offer a hand. Think before you pull back the hammer of your tongue to fire, for you might be questioned: Did God send you to do this? What will your answer be then?
I watched a story today on the news that a Colorado Springs preacher is calling people to pray for rain during Barack Obama’s speech that is to be held at Invesco field. Of course he said that he does not want anyone hurt, but he wants it to come a good rain during his speech. Isn’t there better ways to pray then this?
Why doesn’t he call people to pray that God will guide our decisions in getting a President that will guide us in the direction He desires? This is my call to you dear readers, the 10 or 20 that visit this site, I ask you to pray that God guides us in the direction that will further our love for Him.
When I was younger, my Mom would have to remind me to take my glass, or plate into the kitchen. I made the mistake one time in telling her that she needed to say the magic word. Which for you that are unfamiliar with magic words, they are please and thank you. She was quick in pointing out that she should not have to tell me please when it is something that I know I should do in the first place. After I completed the task at hand I would expect a ‘thank you’ also for doing such an awesome job taking my dinner ware into the kitchen, never got one.
This is how I treat God also. I come to Him in prayer, I help people, I guide people to Him, I do countless things for Him, in His name. I even make sure that I tell people that it wasn’t me, but glory to God. How does He thank me for it? A flat tire, money that does not last until the next payday, withdrawals, depression, etc. Does He ever say please? Every once in awhile He will clear my eyes in seeing the blessings in these things. The money at the time to fix the flat tire, having food and bills paid between paydays, withdrawals and depression, well, trials that when He pulls me out of them, I become stronger, and learn.
Sometimes my prayers become shorter, and the distance between them could be 24 hours or longer for a real conversation, and communion with Him. Sometimes I come to Him with a heavy heart. Thinking while I pray about getting caught up in my sinful nature. While I am talking to Him, little schemes come to mind about medicine, language, smoking a cigarette after I get through and how well it will taste, even thoughts of being pious and righteous come to mind. I try and shake these trying to remember where I left off in my prayer.
I know that we cannot come to God with a perfect, sinless mind and heart, but these are things that I need to work on. He wants us to pay attention to Him, having a conversation together, and sometimes just coming to Him for plain, old fashioned comfort. I was once in danger of thinking that I had to be perfect, repenting of every last one of my sins by name. Impossible to do, so I thought that I was doomed for sure. Isn’t it nice to know that we can come to God imperfect? Just sharing time with Him. While His thank yous might not always be noticeable right off, if we listen hard enough we can hear them. His pleases are not needed, we are to long for a relationship with Him in the first place. He will not force us into it, and He will not beg us for it. He longs for us, and we should long for Him.
Do not pray for rain, or ill will toward anyone. Instead pray for wellness for those who despise you, pray guidance not an interruption of that guidance, pray that He gives us knowledge to be directed in His way, not the worlds. Pray just for comfort in His presence. If you come to Him with a heavy heart lay it down at His feet, He understands us, He has seen what caused that heavy heart, and He knows the cure.
Nee and I attended Church yesterday, and I am always amazed with what I bring out of it. I found out that I am useless. You are too. Until God uses you. No social class in God’s eyes we are the same. He can trump your biggest desire. He can use you if you let Him. I just have to let Him.
Dougville Pop. 1 